English are getting more stupid?

Seriusly folks, after reading about this new poll I am afraid that the answer is yes. Thats right according to a new poll the Britons are losing their grip on reality. This poll which came out Monday, showed that nearly a quarter think Winston Churchill was a myth while the majority reckon Sherlock Holmes was real. You got to be freaking kidding me. Oh but it gets better. The survey found that 47 percent thought that the 12th century English king Richard the Lionheart was also a myth. I guess Saladin was nothing but a bogeyman then. And 23 percent thought Crimean War nurse Florence Nightingale did not actually exist. Three percent thought Charles Dickens, one of Britain's most famous writers, is a work of fiction himself. Bah, humbag Mr Dickens! Looks like your expectations didn't turn out as great as you may have wanted. Seriously, maybe the Nightingale thing is passable for a myth, but freaking Churchill? A myth? That was only 60 years ago for petes sake, the guy is in every history book across the world, how dumb do you have to be?

Putin is Person of the Year!

This isn't really a blog its more of an announcement and another excuse to hail the greatest leader in the world, comrade Putin and put up this picture I found which is awesome! Hail comrade! Putin was made Time magazines person of the year, and its about time. The man is the greatest thing that happened to Russia since Lenin. Soon all will hail Putin, and one day in the future when you go to your local McPutins to have a McBorsh, remember how it all began in these chaotic times when you and I could enjoy the free web and type and read any blogs we damn wished. Soon this freedom nonsense will be over with and we can all enjoy some delicious borsh. Dosvidaniya druzya!

Comrade Ashot

When The Legendary Blogs Die

People, something terrible happened! Our wonderful, amazing, and deliciously dirty blog that cought the attention of the world and brought in a net profit of 106 blog comments, has passed away! This is a sad day in blog history. This blog was a ground breaking blog. In no other time of blogistory has there been such a successful blog. 106 comments! And it was still growing. I mean, just think how big it could have been, had it not been cut down in its prime! Huge! Big! Very Huge! I was so saddened when I saw that our beloved blog has gone to blog heaven, that I decided that I would forgo my long awaited 60 blog extravaganza entry (I guess until the 100th blog), and write a blog about this tragic event. What is a sad day. Why? Why do all the greatest taken from us so soon after they come to us? Are we not worthy? Are we not worthy of a presence of such a great blog? Answer me Lord? Why has thee taken our blog so soon after its works of miracle? Dear blog, you left us mighty big fucking shoes to fill, big fucking shoes. And most of us know that we could never fill those mighty god damn large fucking shoes, but we try to do our best, to keep our memories of your glory, alive, as we shall continue writing excellent blogs until the end of time (or the internet). I declare 106 days of mourning in memory of our departed blog. Rest in peace dear blog, you shall be missed, you...shall...be...missed...

Why you gotta love Lehmann.

Why you gotta love this man you ask?

1. His beard...natural, untamed, unmatched, unconquered.

2. His gut. What a Classic and majestic beer belly.

3. He went to Cambridge

4. He is "not a doctor like you guys", but a "botanist by training."

5. He thinks cook books are for girls and handy books are for boys.

6. He has his mic attached every time he goes to the bathroom stall. Niccccce!

7. He will interupt you during an explanation and tell you that he needs "to go"

8.He has a tetanus-like jerk reaction removing his glasses when he reads his notes

9.You can't help but yell at him on Monday mornings...well bc you are sleep deprived and got a case of the Mondays

10. He is British...as is Borat. Resssssspect.

Why I came to lecture today

Right, now, 1:03 pm and I am one of 42 students in attendance. Jason and I are manning the back row and no one besides us. It's scary, being somewhat alone, without the rest of the gang, but that's what I do, I am here when you aren't, I am here when all others have given up...I am here to the end. Think about it. Then post if you dare.

Does Russia have the US-of-A by its balls?

1943...Stalin...for whoever remembers...he along with FDR and Churchill met in Iran to discuss alot of things, war strategy, what to do with Hitler and his girlfriend, and the different types of Russian caviar (those who don't know, there are only two...)

In the 64 years, no sane person (not celebrating Ramamdan) has been, seen, smelled or breathed or Iranian air...until...

2007...Putin, now that he has some money from all that oil (oil barrel prices hit $85 today, a record) he is going to ....you guessed it, to Iran to meet with the sympathetic, democratically-elected, Ahmadinijihad. Anyways, he is helping him build some nuclear factors, obtain some more Soviet-era weapons, enrich some uranium...the usual...except that this is the beginning of something big (West v. East Parta Deux) as I have been predicting all along...

Anyways, I was kinda bored so I'd figure someone would have wanted to read this...PS Who would ever want to assassinate Putin (check the news)?

One step closer

The House Foreign Relations Committee voted to approve the Resolution 106 recognizing the Armenian Genocide. This means they have approved to bring the resolution to a floor vote at the House of Representatives. So far so good, however, House speaker Palosi could still back down to pressures from Bush and the Turks, and prevent the bill from reaching the floor for a vote. She said before that she wouldn't, however women have been known to lie, so I ain't going to hold my breath. I'll just wait and see. For those of you who are wondering why I care so much, its not only because I am Armenian. Long story short, my great-grandfather was a genocide survivor. He had to flee his home to another country. Because he had to leave his home, I wan't born in Armenia, I was born in another country of Turks, where 80 years later Armenians would again die by the hands of Turks, and this time it would affect me directly, resulting in me and my family leaving our home behind and becoming refugees, just like my great-grandfather. So as you see, it does affect me, and that is why I care. This shit just doesn't get sweeped under the rug and forgotten. This shit sticks around and changes families forever. Without foreclosure, these families will be forever refugees even if they find a new home.

I know you all don't care, but I care and so I write.

Yo what up yo! So tommarow, wednesday, it is anticipated that Resolution 106 might finnaly be brought to the floor of the House of Representatives for a vote. But that all depends if Nancy Palosi decides to actually send the resolution to the floor for a vote. What is Resolution 106? The resolution if approved will recognize the Armenian Genocide, however it is completely nonbinding and therefore only simbolic. Years after years the resolution makes it to the speakers desk only to be postponed because the country is afraid of the damages that the resolution can make with the US relations with Turkey, who every year warns the congress and the president of the US that such a vote would put the US-Turkey relationship in jeapordy. This happend this year too. The president of Turkey today warned president Bush that if this resolution passes, there would be great repurcusions. Usually the resolution never makes it to the floor for a vote. But this year is a little different. Nancy Palosi is sympathetic to the resolution having said before that she would approve it. Also the house now has a Democratic majority and most of the representatives have already signed a petition that says that they would approve the resolution, all that is left is for the resolution to actually make it to the floor for a vote. Well, I doubt it will come to a vote even this year. Turkey is putting great pressure on US to not vote on it, and I'm sure that Bush and others like him will succed in persuading Palosi not to give the resolution to the floor for a vote. Because who gives a fuck about Armenia anyway, its not worth the trouble of losing our wonderful relationship with Turkey over a piece of shit country like Armenia. And it is a piece of shit country, and I know you all don't give a shit, but like I said, its my blog, and I can post whatever I want. Peace y'all!

The Appendix might have a purpose after all!

The good scientists at Duke University Medical School say that the appendix might not be useless after all. It’s true. While at the library, I come over to check my email and what do I see, an article link about the appendix. Being the nerd that I am I immediately clicked on the link and read the whole thing. So here is the main point. These guys did some research and they published a paper and they say the main role of the appendix is to grow and protect the good germs, i.e. your normal flora. As some of you know there are more bacteria than there are human cells in the typical body. We are literally a big sack of bacteria walking around like we all that. Most of the bacteria are good and help digest food, keep us immune, etc. etc. Anyways, sometimes the flora of bacteria in the intestines die or are purged. Diseases such as cholera or amoebic dysentery would clear the gut of useful bacteria. Well the researchers at Duke say that when this happens it is the appendix's job to reboot the digestive system. In a way it acts as a factory and safe house for the good bacteria, and whenever the need arises, the appendix will replenish the GI with a fresh batch. Pretty damn exciting, isn’t it? I mean all these years we thought it was a useless sack of tissue, well we could be wrong. However, don’t start dancing around like joyful circus moneys just yet. As most of you know medical knowledge changes every year, as they find out more and more about the human body and how things work. So my advice: hold on to your butts.

Chess in the Midwesss...

So Ashot and I decided we will have a chess tournament to determine who is number #1 chess player in Toledo...starting tomorrow. It will continue until mid-December, and a second tourament will commence in January. The tournament will include a chess board, polished glasses, lots of water and girls to hold up score cards (we are still looking for volunteers...so don't be shy). If you'd like to lose in less than 15 moves, let us know, your skill or lack thereof will be appreciated.

Btw the two pics above are 2 of the top 8 grandmasters in the world - just out of the 2007 World Chess Championships. One on the left is Armenian, the other is a Jew. The remaining 5 of 6 players are Russians and the 8th grandmaster, who won it all is from India, which happens to be a former Soviet Bloc country, so in other words...R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

I won’t stay, but I’ll keep my eye on things…

That’s what President Putin said when asked if he will have the constitution changed so that he could run for another term as President of the Russian Federation. I will not be the man that will change our country’s constitution, however, I’ll still keep my eye on thing is what Mr. Putin said. Well, me and those who like me are in tune to Russian politics were wondering just what exactly does he mean when he says that he will still keep his eye on things. Will he pick a successor who has the same ideology about the future of Russia as he does? Will he pick somebody to hold the seat warm for him and come back to power legally after skipping a term? Is he just lying and does he plan to run again after all? Or is he just going to show up one day in a Darth Sidious robe and proclaim himself emperor of a new and more powerful Russian Empire? Well most people realized that somehow Putin was going to his hold on power in Russia one way or another, and today we found out a little bit about just how he plans to do it. Putin announced today that he would be the leading candidate on the ticket of Russia’s dominant political party in parliamentary elections in December, and said he might become the country’s prime minister next year. There you go folks, that is how he is going to do it, that is how its going to be done. Earlier this year Putin fired his prime minister and put in place a new one, a man who was largely unheard of in Russian politics, and most people agree that this is the man that Putin wants in his place while he stays backstage and pulls that strings. Now we know how it will be done. As the leading candidate on the ticket of Russians dominant political party, United Russia, Putin will have great influence and control over the Russia government, while his puppet President keeps his chair warm for his return in four years. However, even now the future is still uncertain (always in motion the future is), and if I know Putin, and I think I do (well actually I don’t, but for the sake of this blog lets pretend I do), then his latest public remark is all part of a charade. You see, Putin is fearful of betrayal and of losing his influence in the Kremlin’s mercurial inner sanctum and in the end he may yet reverse his course and decide to serve a third consecutive term despite the constitutional prohibition. And if anybody gives him any shit about the constitution all he needs to do is scream “I AM THE CONSTITUTION!!!”

Something else for y'all to read

While facebooking today (by the way when is that word going to be added to the English language dictionary? Soon I hope, the red underlining is annoying on Word) I noticed that the most popular favorite movie picked by those in the MedU Ohio network is Old School. What? Now don’t get me wrong, that is a really funny movie, I totally enjoyed it and I’ll watch it over and over again, but its not my favorite movie, its probably not in my top 50 favorite movies. What kind of people put that as their favorite movie on their facebook profile? The answer is: a lot of people. At the MedU Ohio network it’s the number one picked movie. Is it really that great? I don’t know but for me, a comedy could never be my favorite movie. I love comedies just as much as the next guy, but its just a comedy and there are always new comedies coming out every year, but a really good movie, a really good movie, a movie that really grabbed a hold of you and wouldn’t let go and gave you goose bumps, a movie like that only comes around once ever 5-10 years, and surely these are not comedies, are they? At least I think not. But I think this just might be an issue of personal preference. I mean, maybe, just maybe, I like epic movies, drama, and action, more than I like comedies. I do like comedies, I love watching movies that make me laugh my freaking ass off. Superbad was freaking hilarious, and Anchorman, 40 Year Old Virgin, and Old School, are all really funny movies. However, as I glace up from my laptop and look over at my DVD collection I realize that of those 200 or so movies that I have accumulated over the last 7 years, I would say only 12 are comedies. That’s only 6%. So I guess the point is (ha, a point, is there ever a point) that I don’t consider comedies to be great movies, for me they are just entertainment, something to make me laugh and enjoy with my friends, but not great movie material. However there are exceptions. There are comedies that I consider to be great movies, and would even go as far is including them in my top 50 movies of all time. I would have to say that The Big Lebowski would definitely qualify, I like that move a whole of a lot better than I like Old School. The movie is not just funny, its brilliant, and they just could never make a movie like that again, I mean it’s a classic. Old School is not, and I doubt that it ever will be.

On How We Insult Our Guests

When you invite someone to be your guest, are you going to insult them when they come, especially if they come for the first time, never having visited you before? I am talking about the president of Columbia University. As I am sure some of you have heard, the Iranian president, our mortal enemy, made a visit to America a couple of days ago. He is here to speak at the UN, however, he was invited by the Columbian University to come and come and do a Q & A session. Columbia got a lot of heat from the press and from all sorts of people, denouncing their decision to have such a tyrant and our worst enemy to come and be treated with such honor as doing a Q & A at Columbia. We can’t treat tyrants with such honor. But we did invite him, and he did accept and he did come. Having already arrived at such as step, was it really necessary to insult the man in our own country, on our turf? Aren’t there more appropriate times and places to protest and denounce this terrible man? Please, do not misunderstand me, I am not a fan of Ahmadinejhad. Not even close. Just like most people, I too realize the man is an idiot, the man is ignorant, the man is a tyrant, and the man is probably dangerous. However, this is not the point. The point is, Columbia University, offered an invitation to him, to come and do a Q & A session, during which anybody could ask anything, there was no script, and Ahmadinejhad agreed to this, (I mean if nothing else, the man has courage, to walk into a lions den like that, takes courage) was insulting him in the introduction really necessary or appropriate? Some people say that to invite someone into your home and then disrespect them is the ultimate low; you don’t do that even to your enemy. In the middle ages when two countries would go to war, when you invited your enemy to come into your camp for negotiations or whatever, it was understand by all, that the other would be treated with respect. Well what kind of an example are we setting to the world when we invite a nation’s president to come and answer questions and we can’t even introduce him without insulting him? Why not just stab him in the heart then? Here you go you piece of shit, we hate you and now you going to die! I mean, why stop with the insults? The president of Columbia was the host and he insulted his guest, literally calling him, among other things, a "cruel and petty dictator" as well as “astonishingly uneducated." All true, but still, was it necessary, was it appropriate for the setting in which it happened? I do not think it was, I think the Columbia president should be ashamed, he made our country look bad, and even their country would have treated our President Bush (who actually is a retard) with more respect had he came to do a Q & A session at Tehran University, even though they hate Bush just as much as we hate Ahmadinejhad. I say this because I know Middle east culture, and in the Middle East you treat your guest with the greatest respect and hospitality, even if they are your enemy. Once again, I think inviting Ahmadinejhad to speak at Columbia was a big mistake, but insulting him was an even bigger mistake, and once again we have shown the world that we are no better then anyone else and not the moral beacon of the world that we always seem to think we are.

Tired and Hungry

It’s a Saturday night, it’s about close to 7 pm right now, I’m in the library and Elvis comes up and says “what are you up to?” I stop typing and talk to him for a while and I ask him if he is going to go to dinner with me and Tahir, he says he already ate. I jump off my seat and I grab him by the shoulders and shake him and say “Elviiiis! What is the matter with you!!!” We both have a laugh and he says “I can’t study while I’m hungry man!” I tell him he needs to start buying powerbars and he asks me if they fill you up and I tell him they get the job done for a couple of hours, then he finally leaves and I return to my typing. So where was I? Oh yes. It’s a Saturday night, a little after 7pm, I’m at the library, I’m tired, I’m hungry and I am just plain pissed off. The last 48 hours I haven’t really slept much and it doesn’t look like I’ll get much more than that in the next 48. Five weeks worth of diseases and immune system and we don’t even get a single day off to study for this exam. Man, am I hungry. Why don’t I go eat? Well I’m waiting for a friend. He is a Muslim and its Ramadan so he has to fast and he has to eat only at a certain time, so I got wait for his ass because I don’t want to eat by myself and he is my friend and I enjoy his company. I thought I had it rough studying for this test, but that is nothing compared to what he is going through, being hungry all the time and having to study for this test. How the hell can you concentrate on the notes when you are hungry all the time? I’m hungry right now and I can’t concentrate, that’s why I came over to this computer to write something down, because I can’t think when I’m hungry. I’m also tired. Oh so very very tired. I want a bed. A nice warm bed that is so soft and so nice and I could sleep forever and not worry about having to do x-amount of lectures before Monday. Not to mention all the case studies and the lab, and the independent projects I haven’t gone over yet. I probably sound like I’m complaining, but I don’t think I’m complaining, I’m just typing down how I’m feeling right now. And I feel tired, hungry, and….well, hungry. Got to get eat now. Take care of yourselves and each other…

I'm going to pull a Lehmann

Yeah, so I'd like to get some feedback, so if you could answer these poll questions, that would be just great. Oh and just to make something clear, I write these blogs mostly for myself, I find it to be kind of like meditation in which I mean that it helps me clear my mind and see things in a different perspective. With that said, I would be liar if I claimed that to be the only reason I write blogs, so go ahead and give me your feedback yo!

Do you enjoy reading my blogs? Yes, I love them! Yes, they are great! Yes, I do! View Results

How often do you visit this blog? Everyday Every other day Once a week Once a month View Results

Who the hell are you? Friend Enemy Stranger Secret Admirer View Results

Do you own a laptop? Yes No View Results

Should I keep writing blogs? Yes you are talented! Yes its worth my time! Yes its something! No please stop. No you suck. No you are horrible. View Results

Another Strange Dream

I woke up from a strange dream this morning. I’ve been having weird dreams often lately. In this one, I am some place I don’t remember now where it was, but I decide to get up and to the restroom. I get to the restroom and I wash my hands and I get a paper towel to dry my hands and I am about to throw the paper towel into the waste basket when I realize that the waste basket is full of my clothes, clothes that I own. I am thinking, who the hell threw out my clothes, I need those. So I start going through the waste basket, taking out my clothes, discovering more of them, and taking them out. Other men come into the bathroom during this time, and when they come up to wash their hands, they just look at me wierd and in disgust. Like they are thinking “why are you taking all that garbage you hobo.” I ignore their staring, I take my clothes, and I walk out, and I wake up.

I am an uncle! Or second uncle, or whatever you call it.

That’s right. My cousin Anya, who lives in Russia, gave birth to a baby boy today, so that makes me an uncle in my culture. It is so strange, I remember the days when we were all kids like it was yesterday. Me, Anya and her younger brother Vova, we were like the three musketeers. We always played together and we got into all sorts of adventures and trouble together. Now we are grown up and are far apart. I'm in medical school, Anya is a mommy, and Vova is a rock star, life is so sad. I really miss my cousins. But I am so happy that I have a nephew. I’ve never been an uncle before, this is kind of cool. I bet I will make a great uncle. Too bad I live half way around the world and probably won’t meet my nephew for a long time. Well, I can’t have everything I desire. Here is a picture of my cousin Anya and her husband Yannis. I don’t have a picture of my nephew yet, I hope to get one soon.

A lame excuse for a car accident

Today, while driving to school, I decided to take Heatherdown to get to Glendale instead of taking Glendale itself because Glendale has a lot of work on it and its slower that way. So I take Healtherdown and I make a left on Byrne and I approach Glendale and I am supposed to take a right to get to school. I see the car in front of me taking a right and as I slow down I look to my left to make sure no car is coming and when I see I am safe I hit the gas and only then look in front of me (dumbass) and the car I thought already made that right turn was right there in front of me still waiting. Immediately I hit the brakes but I was too late and I bumped into her. Shit I say. I put on my emergency lights and I come out of the car to talk to what turned out to be a girl, a nursing student at our school. She looks all scared and I am laughing saying “shit, sorry about that.” I look at where I hit her and there is nothing there, not even a scratch, because I didn’t hit her that hard at all, it was just a bump. My car has nothing on it as well. “Well, that was close, no harm done?” I said, because really there was no harm done at all. “Oh God, that was so scary, “she says, almost crying. “I have to call my daddy,” she says. What the hell, there is not even a scratch, what are you calling your daddy for? So she calls her daddy, and the idiot tells her she needs to call the cops and get a police report. Fuck. So we wait there for like 10 minutes while the cop shows up. Who when he gets out of his car looks very pissed off when he sees absolutely no damage on either vehicle. He writes his freaking report for like 20 minutes, and then lets her go, and when he was letting me go, he says that he won’t give anybody a citation since there was no injury or damage at all, and tells me the girl wasted all of our time. Anyway, so I missed half of my first lecture this morning all because I was driving to school, listening to the Beatles and not paying enough attention to what is going on around me. Shame on me.

I freaking love Scarface

What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!

You know what your problem is? You don't got nothing to do with your life. Why don't you get a job? Work with lepers. Blind kids. Anything's gotta be better than lying around all day waiting for me to fuck you.

I never fucked anybody over in my life didn't have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one. Do you understand? That piece of shit up there, I never liked him, I never trusted him. For all I know he had me set up and had my friend Angel Fernandez killed. But that's history. I'm here, he's not. Do you wanna go on with me, you say it. You don't, then you make a move.

In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.

Huge Cows, Tall Trees, and Giant Pears

When you’re a kid everything seems big, magical, and interesting. Long time ago when I was just a little kid, back in the old country, before the war, in time of peace, stability and brotherhood, my grandfather and my father decided to take our whole family on a trip to the land of our ancestors. We packed up our stuff and all got into our tiny Russian Djuguli a car smaller then the 2-door cavalier that I drive right now, and we started the drive to Artsakh, the land of our forefathers. The particular village we were going to is called Norshen which translated from Armenian means new village or new town or something like that. This particular village was home to my father’s mother’s side of the family and we still had some land there so we had a place to stay.

What I remember is that once we got there and found our house (or cottage?) we discovered an unpleasant surprise. Not only has our village home deteriorated and broken down due to years and years of neglect, but there in the front yard lying down among the tall grass was a huge cow. “My God, after all these years, it is still alive…” said my grandfather. “That’s not our cow you idiot” shouted grandmother. “It must be lost.” “What the hell is a cow doing on our property?” yelled father. It turned out the cow belonged to our neighbor who figured us all dead and decided to use our lawn for feeding ground for his cow. After some yelling and then some drinking to celebrate our return our friendly neighbor took his cow away and we were able to unpack and settle in.

What is amazing about childhood is how much bigger everything seemed because you were so small. For me, as I try to remember my trip to the village I recall giant trees, huge domesticated animals, and amazing mountains. Now it probably won’t all seem so big but back then to small kid it all seemed so great and extraordinary. Waking up early the next morning I noticed some noise outside and I ran to investigate. I saw the dirt road full of cows leaving the village. “Where are all the cows going babulya?” I asked my grandma. “They are following the herdsman to green pastures where they will graze and enjoy the sunshine.” I was amazed how all the cows knew that they were supposed to follow some man and how they did it obediently. I was even more amazed later that evening when they all returned and every single cow knew which home to return to.

But the most fun I had was another evening when the entire village went to the forest to pick wild fruits and nuts. What seemed like work turned out to be fun and entertaining. All the big and strong man of the village ran up to these huge and tall trees and began to climb up until I could no longer see them and only hear their voices from above as they sang songs and tossed down the picked fruits. The rest of the villagers which were mostly women, children, and the elderly, would also sing as they walked around and tried to catch the fruits and the nuts tossed from above. That was a lot of fun, especially for us kids, as we were running around trying to catch giant pears, apples, and walnuts and store them in our bags. Except I didn’t have a bag of my own, which upset me greatly because I wanted to compete with the other kids and have the fullest bag. “I need a bag momma!!!” I yelled at my mom, but she only told me that I shouldn’t worry because her bag was big enough for the both of us. Obviously she missed the point completely, because for me it wasn’t about the fruit and nuts, it was about beating the other kids in the village. I was very sad when the time came for us to leave this lovely rustic village and return to the polluted oil-industry city where we lived, but as fate would have it, we wouldn’t have to stay there too much longer.