The Halo Effect

I had a decent day, the night was nearing to a close, and after finishing up PBL (which stands for problem-based-learning for the non-medically inclined readers), I jumped into my car and was about to head home…when…I got a phone call…

…I looked at my ultra-slim phone and put the speaker up close to my ear…I inquired, “Hello.”

…”Halo,” was the response.

I replied, “Is this my uncle! I know you are one funny man, very nice! Halo’ to you to!”

…The man replied, “Halo.”

I continued, “Am I being stalked or something…this is kinda getting scary…”

…”Halo.”

...Then it hit me, it was the main man, the big burrito, my brother-from-another-mother, the mac daddy…Ashot.

…Hey buddy, what’s up, how is everything…did you hear of what happened in Armenia today, they got a new prime minister just a few days ago?”

He replied, “Halo.”

I was scared, I thought Ashot had finally lost it, having just taken a behavioral exam, I diagnosed him with selective mutism…it is a disorder characterized by “silent, whisper or single-syllable words during the stressful situation” … I immediately turned around my car and raced to his apartment.

Thirteen minutes later, I entered Ashot’s residence and noticed something unusual…he also had a tic disorder…that is rapid and repetitive muscle contractions resulting in movements or vocalizations…that is Ashot was uncontrollably wielding a controller and didn’t even notice my presence…he was accompanied by Elvis who eyed Ashot with extreme contempt.

…I grasped the controller away from Ashot…he did not yield…he yelled, “Showdown, You, Me…Halo!”

Yes, Ashot seemed disturbed, I accepted the challenge, not knowing what I was getting into…

…My time playing Halo was a blur, I do not remember what happened, but I too dealt with great amounts of stress…I also remember waking the neighbors up…and pushing Elvis off the couch (my apologies)…

….Three hours later, I learned a lot about gamming, about combat and about Ashot…mainly, this was a man with great dignity but little integrity, he would sacrifice his complete dominance by letting you win and leading you on…only later to completely destroy you …

…moreover, he was very humble about his skill, wouldn’t say much, would come around and shot you from behind when you least expect it…

…I remember during one episode, he murdered my character, and then as I was lying, bleeding on the ground, Ashot came at me with a chain saw and sawed off my head. As if that was unnecessarily cruel, Ashot turned to me and looked at me silently into my eyes…then looked away without uttering a single word…it was an expression I will never forget…completely blank but rejoiced in some form of great accomplishment…

Unnecessary…yes…Disturbing...perhaps...Priceless…indeed.