Backrow Personality Assessment by Tahir Jamil

So I happen to be a bit of a "car buff" and I am of the belief that a car can tell a lot about a personality. So while I was day dreaming in our wonderful BDLS class I started thinking what kind of car would some of our backrowballers, players and losers would represent. So here goes

Ashot - He would be a Mercedes SL550 kind of guy for his classy yet free spirited personality.

Mariam – Tricycle (with a nice bright red frame and streamers on the handles) - Mariam needs something very very simple. She has a Lexus RX 350 but I’m pretty sure she has no idea what half the buttons in it do. On a recent adventure, I alerted her to the wonder of heated seats which to her surprise she had installed on her car. Though I will say she should get the chrome option on her tricycle because she still needs a little “bling bling”

Sarah – Definitely a Hummer to run over men and the many other people she just hates. Sarah doesn’t seem to sweat the small stuff and wants to get straight to business. As she demonstrated in PBL she will crush those in her way (aka B.Bo) hence a Hummer being appropriate.

Abby – Lambo Gallardo – Fast and Easy

Farah – Camel – What can I say, you love Iran (and obviously everyone in the crazy MidEast rides on camels). I will recommend the duel hump camel though…for extra traveling distance. Btw, its an added 100 option to stick the BMW emblem on the Camels ass. Being that you are Iranian you'll need it to fit in.

Shlee –BMW 750iL – All Iranians drive BMWs.

Bo – Tank (M1 Abrams) – He’s pretty sure the world is out to get the Jews so he wants to be well prepared and in most case preemptive

Elvis – Peugot – Its Eurotrash enough. But he also has Ferrari F430 written all over him. He’ll be the guy wearing Ferrari gear from head to toe pretending he is Italian always trying to hide is Albanian heritage.

Elvis is like the father I've always had

Ever since I met and became friends with Elvis, I noticed something very familiar about him, or more specifically, about his personality. What I mean is, Elvis is like my father. But its isn’t just that they both speak with a European accent, or that they both wear a thick gold chain around their neck and are fascinated with material gain. There’s more to it than that. Let me explain some of the reasons why I came to regard Elvis as my second father. Whenever I was studying at the library and I would come upon a question that needed answering I would find myself going to Elvis. Elvis would always greet me with a stern but friendly expression and when I would say “I have question” he would always respond “of course you do.” Then he would carefully listen to my questions and proceed to answer them, not by giving me the answer, but my allowing me to follow his reasoning as he explained to me the solutions to my problem. Just like my dad. Now, that’s if I have a question, another example is when Elvis has a question. Whenever Elvis comes up to me and asks me questions, it feels more like he is quizzing me rather than asking me about something he doesn’t know. If I know the answer Elvis (like my dad) would never give me any praise he would just act like that is expected, he already knew that, and leave. If I don’t know the answer Elvis would say something like “what’s the matter with you? Didn’t you study at all? What have you been doing all day?” Just like my old man. It's like I can never please Elvis. No matter how good I do it will never be enough. It’s like my dad came to medical school with me. Thanks dad, I mean Elvis.

Mission Accomplished

The main objective of Operation Casino Royale was a success! B.Bo did not win the poker tournament, he didn’t even get second place. That’s after he bought back in three times! He wasn’t the first person to go out, he was the second. There were five people who played. The secondary objective (winning the tournament) wasn’t met, although agent King and I lasted a long time in the game, we made it into the end game, and neither of us had to buy back in (unlike B.Bo). Towards the end, only three remained the Chinaman, the Roman, and I. I was close to achieving the secondary objective, but I ended up losing when I went all in against the Chinaman. I know, I know, my mistake. I may have lost, but I outlasted B.Bo, without having to buy back into the game. B.Bo, nothing personal, you played well, but not as well as you talk!

Operation Casino Royale

It seems like Operation Casino Royale is set to go as planned. The poker tournament has been arranged to commence at 20:00 (8:00 PM) at my residence, and B.Bo is expected to show up. Agent King as well as I will be the only players briefed of the current objectives. The main objective is simple; make sure B.Bo doesn’t emerge the winner at tonight’s poker tournament. The secondary objective: win the poker tournament. Thus it is clear, the point is not necessary win, the point is to make sure that B.Bo loses tonight’s poker tournament. The casus belli for this operation is B.Bo’s arrogance and overconfidence in himself as he has often declared himself to be a better poker player then any of us (myself and King included). Upon my invitation to tonight’s tournament he smiled and remarked how he “will enjoy taking everyone’s money” at tonight’s tournament. This insolence will be punished tonight, if Operation Casino Royale is successful.

Looks like I've made it.

Well, it’s over with. The elections are done. As most of you know I failed miserably in the AMA elections. In the Medical Student Council elections I tied with Natasha and so there had to be a revote between us. I beat her in the revote and now I am officially a Representative for our class on the student council. I would like to thank all of you who voted for me, I appreciate your support and I will make sure to be the best Representative for our class that I can be. If there is anything you need me to do when I go to the meetings, just let me know. I only have one more thing to say: Spartans! Prepare for glory!

My Apology

To those of you who came to the AMA elections this week, I wish to apologize for my behavior. The speech that I gave was completely inappropriate and very unprofessional. This is not a joke, this is a sincere apology and I hope everyone takes it as this. I am sorry, I overreacted to a possible loss in the MSC elections and this influenced me to behave unprofessionally during the AMA elections, which are supposed to be held in a professional manner. To those of you who came to vote for me, I thank you for your vote, and I am sorry for having wasted your time. I never should have run for these positions, I had some fun, but I went too far. Again, I apologize, and if anybody is upset with me, I’ll be glad to discuss it further. Also from now on, I will make the effort to act more professional during class as well. I am in medical school and its time I grow up and act like I belong here. Thank you for reading this apology.

Poker at my House This Friday, Casino Royale Style

No not the movie, but we will play Texas Hold’em Poker this Friday at my house at 8pm. The game will be a $20 buy in, winner takes all. Drinks and refreshments will be provided. Hope to see a lot of people come and play, it will be fun, I guarantee it. Call me if you want to come, and if you don’t know my number, talk to me in class or something.

Elvis Cami Interviews Mr. K

Elvis: Thank you for allowing this interview, Mr. K I am going to ask you some questions about your campaign. Are you ready to start.

Mr. K: Yes, yes I am. Elvis you may start when ready. I am so excited.

Elvis: Okay, just calm down there, don't get too excited, I haven't even began yet. Now. My first question just to get this interview started, is, which positions are you exactly running for, and for which clubs.

Mr. K: That is a really good question, really good. I don't want anybody out there to be confused about this because its important. I am currently in the elections for two positions, on two separate clubs. Firstly as most know, I am running for a representative position on the Medical Student Council. However, I am also a member of AMA, and I am running for the Vice President position on the AMA.

Elvis: I'm sorry, did you say Vice-President?

Mr. K: Yes I did. Vice-President for the AMA.

Elvis: Okay. Now I just want our readers to know that the rest of this interview will focus on your candidacy for Vice-President for the AMA. Next question. Are you, or have you ever been involved with illegal drugs such as heroin or LSD?

Mr. K: Wow, I didn't expect that, um, no, I have never used heroin or LSD.

Elvis: Never? Not even once, not even as a one time crazy thing, during your wild years in college?

Mr. K: No, never, not even once.

Elvis: Douchebag. Okay fine, next question. Give me a time from your life, when you had to decide between an easier, rewarding, but a wrong choice verses a choice that is harder, however a more righteous one.

Mr. K: Wow, that's a good question too. Hmm. Well there was one time back in good old Nebraska, when I was about 22 years old. Me and my college friends where at the horse racing tracks...

Elvis: Very nice!

Mr. K: We were handing out pamphlets about counseling for gambling addiction...

Elvis: Douchebag.

Mr. K: Then we saw a man drop his wallet. We picked up the wallet, and there was almost $500 of cash in his wallet. One of my friends, wanted to keep some of the money but give the rest of it, with the wallet, back to the man who dropped it. However, I knew that would be the wrong choice to make, no matter how easy or rewarding it would be. I made the right choice and I run after the man and I gave him his wallet, with all of the money still in there.

Elvis: You didn't take any of the money? Not even a hundred bucks?

Mr. K: Nope, I didn't touch a single bill in that mans wallet.

Elvis: Geez. Naturally you always regretted making the wrong choice that day. You could have done so much with that money.

Mr. K: No Elvis. Taking that money, would have been the wrong decision, and if I took that money, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. I made the right choice.

Who really is Mr. K? Part 2

Hello, I am Ashot K, and I approve this blog.

When the war between Armenia and Azerbaijan began in 1988, the K family left Baku just in time, avoiding the pogroms against Armenians, where many were massacred in the streets or thrown from their balconies to their deaths. Mr. K’s journey took him from the burning streets of Baku, to southern Russia, where he attended the first three grades of his education, and learned to speak, write, and read in Russian. When the Soviet Union fell apart in 1991, they would move again, this time to a much unexpected place, Lincoln, Nebraska, in the heartland of America.

Mr. K pretty much grew up in the heartland, and was able to learn English in the first two years. He quickly realized just how different he was then every other kid in Nebraska. He quickly learned from the other kids that he dressed funny, he smelled funny, he talked funny, in fact he was just plain weird to kids that grew up eating grilled cheese sandwiches and drinking Kool-Aid. No matter how much he wanted to eat those sandwiches and drink the Kool-Aid, he could not, because he had to eat the smelly home cooked meals his mom sent him to school with. But that wasn’t all that was funny about him. He also learned something that changed his life forever. He learned that he was funny as well, in terms of humor. He could always make friends by making people laugh. Well, that’s just great he thought, now I am not only funny looking, I am also a clown. Well. It wasn’t too bad after all. Because as time would show. Having a good sense of humor, would win him the key to many people’s hearts.

Who really is Mr. K? Part 1

Hello, I am Ashot K, and I approve this blog.

Have you gotten to know Mr. Ashot K? Perhaps you have heard that he is running for a position on the Medical Student Council, to represent your class, but what do you really know about him? For example, did you know that he is also in the race for the Vice President position on the AMA? Some might even call him a real hero. You There is more about Ashot K than just meets the eye. To get to the bottom of who this man really is, we must look at his past. This blog is part of a series of blogs dedicated to exploring the background of this great man, as we approach Election Day.

Mr. K was born to Sergey and Marietta K, he was named after his great-grandfather. He was born on August 30th 1982, in the sunny city of Baku, capital of the Soviet Socialist Republic of Azerbaijan, on the coast of the Caspian Sea. His was born to an Armenian family that were part of the Armenian community of Baku, whose grandparents ended up in Baku as refugees fleeing the Turks during the Armenian Genocide of WWI. Mr. K’s great-grandfather, also Ashot K, along with his family was victim of the Armenian Genocide; they escaped to Baku as refugees during the aftermath of the First World War. Back then Baku was a safe place for Armenians because it was first under British occupation and then under Soviet occupation. Eventually it would become the capital of the Azerbaijan republic, and then it would not longer be a safe haven.

Because Baku was the Azeri capital, and because Azeri’s are ethnic Turks, Ashot K’s great-grandfather changed the K surname to sound more Russian in order to hide the family’s Armenian background. The Armenians of Baku lived in peace as a minority group in the Azeri capital of Baku, until 1988, when war between Armenia and Azerbaijan broke out and the Armenians would once again become targets of ethnic cleansing. The K family once again had to become refugees, eventually making their way to America. Later on, when the Ashot that you know, became a US citizen, he changed the surname back to the original Armenian pronunciation because he no longer had to fear being an Armenian. He was Ashot K and he was now a citizen of the greatest country in the world, a country of tolerance and opportunity. He knew that success no longer depended on what surname you, but on how hard you worked for your goals. God bless the U.S.A!

After anatomy was done, there was nothing left to do, but eat sushi, and play Halo.

The last Anatomy exam finally came. And it sucked. I did not manage to pull off a high pass in class like I wanted to, my score on the 3rd exam wasn’t high enough to cut it. Well, I am just happy to be through with it. Anatomy was the biggest pain in the ass of my life, and I am glad to have it behind me. On to better things. Like Halo. Recently I got back into Halo. Who knows why, maybe because I got tired of studying for Anatomy (which is probably why I didn’t get a high pass), but I got back into Halo. I was pretty rusty at first, because I haven’t played in years, but I got better at it as the anatomy final approached. During the last week of anatomy I didn’t play at all, because I was busy cramming for the test. But the highlight of my resurrection in Halo was last Friday night, after the exam, what I call my own Halo Superbowl. Here is how it all happened.

We all went to eat sushi last Friday, to celebrate the end of Anatomy. It was a joyous time. Sake was flowing like wine, and I showed up dressed like “euro trash” as my friends so eloquently put it. That made my night, because I always wanted to be euro trash. Just like Elvis. Who is my good friend and an even better role model. We were having a great time, and afterwards, me and all the guys went back to my place to play Halo. Tahir who didn’t join us at the restaurant, showed up at my house to play Halo. It was so awesome, because Bryan (aka B.Bo) came with his TV and his Xbox, so we had two tvs set up and we linked up our Xbox, so we could all play in the arena of death. We played team vs. team in games like king of the hill, where you have to control a designated circle longer than anyone else to win, we played capture the flag, and we played the sniper game where everyone is for himself only in sniper mode. It was so much fun, except B.Bo was better than everyone else.

There was five of us, so we split into two teams of 2 vs. 3, where B.Bo and Mike where on one team, and me, Elvis (aka The King), Tahir (aka Princess) were on the other team. Except it was more like 1 vs. 3, because Mike was so bad at Halo, that he didn’t really count and B.Bo was pretty much the team, and it didn’t matter, he still kicked our ass. It was really embarrassing to have a Pakistani and an Albanian on my team and still lose to a Jew. But I guess that’s kind of like real life (see 1948 Arab-Israeli war, Six-Day war, Yom Kippur War, etc) where everyone ganged up on Israel, and the Jews still kicked everyone’s ass. But the Jew was not so good at the sniper level, where Tahir achieved first place, with yours truly in second place. Where was the Jew? In dead last (technically he was second to last, because Mike was in last place, but since Mike is so bad, I technically don’t count him). The night was a lot of fun and brought great nostalgia from better times, like 2001, when all we had to worry about was how to beat the Covenant on Halo rather then being able to identify the thyroarytenoid muscle on the practical.