Those that really know Armenians know them to be (among other things) great businessman. Armenians are good at finding ways to make extra money outside their profession. My father is no exception. Back in Russia, he sold and rented VHS tapes, when we came to the State at one point he was operating as many as three different businesses; a shishkabab stand during Husker games, importing and selling Russian porcelain, and yes, even a dating service for Armenian singles that he called Hanuma.Naturally I asked my father “what is Hanuma papa?”
He smiled and looking away with a look of nostalgia he replied “well my son, back in Armenia, dating was not as complicated as it is here. If your parents were having a difficult time finding you a suitable spouse, they would turn to the local Hanuma. Hanuma is a name given to a woman who is paid…no no son, not for that, she is paid to be what you call a matchmaker. A family will pay Hanuma to find them a suitable bride or groom. Hanuma will go around looking for available young men and women who are seeking a husband or wife and then she will introduce him. If it works out, she gets two lambs, if it doesn’t she only gets half a lamb.”
“But what does this all have to do with your business?” I asked him.
“My dimwitted son, I have named my dating service Hanuma because I will be making matches for single Armenians living in America who have a hard time finding someone to love. People will send me their photo and a description of themselves, and I will match them with someone else, send those pictures and descriptions and then they will decide whether to meet or not. For that they will pay me a small but reasonable fee.”
As I listen to him I heard my calling in life. That day I promised myself that one day I would be a Hanuma, just like my father. Fortunately for me, I was only 10 and I quickly forgot my promise, and didn’t remember it again until my first year of medical school, when I saw a perfect opportunity to be a matchmaker for two friends of mine, who were lonely, single, and although not Armenian, where also foreign. I told myself I will prove that I can be a Hanuma just like my father by making sure that these two fall in love and get married. In the end I proved to be a terrible Hanuma as my story will show.
To be continued…
He smiled and looking away with a look of nostalgia he replied “well my son, back in Armenia, dating was not as complicated as it is here. If your parents were having a difficult time finding you a suitable spouse, they would turn to the local Hanuma. Hanuma is a name given to a woman who is paid…no no son, not for that, she is paid to be what you call a matchmaker. A family will pay Hanuma to find them a suitable bride or groom. Hanuma will go around looking for available young men and women who are seeking a husband or wife and then she will introduce him. If it works out, she gets two lambs, if it doesn’t she only gets half a lamb.”
“But what does this all have to do with your business?” I asked him.
“My dimwitted son, I have named my dating service Hanuma because I will be making matches for single Armenians living in America who have a hard time finding someone to love. People will send me their photo and a description of themselves, and I will match them with someone else, send those pictures and descriptions and then they will decide whether to meet or not. For that they will pay me a small but reasonable fee.”
As I listen to him I heard my calling in life. That day I promised myself that one day I would be a Hanuma, just like my father. Fortunately for me, I was only 10 and I quickly forgot my promise, and didn’t remember it again until my first year of medical school, when I saw a perfect opportunity to be a matchmaker for two friends of mine, who were lonely, single, and although not Armenian, where also foreign. I told myself I will prove that I can be a Hanuma just like my father by making sure that these two fall in love and get married. In the end I proved to be a terrible Hanuma as my story will show.
To be continued…
3 comments:
HAHAHA! We have those too, except we use shekels instead of lamb, and yes, you failed miserably. Mariam is from Pakistan, I am from Uzbekistan, our family feuds go back thousands of years, it would of never worked :-(
hahaha, I want my half of a lamb damn it!
that was some funny shit but you're not a great hanuma though b/c the hooking up didn't go to well
hey keep trying though, 2 lambs is a sweet deal
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